Sam was exploring a basket of sticks and had begun to create a fire. Tait walked over and tried to take a stick Sam was holding. Some tugging back and forth began, neither child being willing to give up the material.
Sam said to Tait “I thought you were my friend”, to which Tait replied “I’m not your friend!” Sam repeated “but I thought you were my friend”. There was a pause as both children looked at each other for a moment. “I’m sorry Sam” said Tait, “I’m sorry.” Tait moved back to his previous play and Sam continued to build his fire.
Both teachers witnessed this interaction. Reflecting back at the end of the day Sam’s first statement ‘I thought you were my friend’, stood out to both of us as unusual in its candor. Tait’s reply was more typical of this age, when children may use the power of friendship in both positive and negative ways. That Sam repeated the statement was also atypical. Perhaps this unexpected repetition stopped Tait from getting into a predicatable back and forth. Did Tait, in the pause that followed, realize they are in fact friends, or that what was happening was unfriendly, or have a moment to reflect on what it means to be a friend? Whatever happened Tait was able to freely offer a sincere apology and both children were able to move on happily.
We both felt this was a very powerful, positive interaction. It is quite possible that neither child will remember it at all but it is affirming to see that their toolboxes hold the ability to speak up, to listen, to make right where they can and to move on successfully.